Wednesday

While the week started out relatively well with the normal stuff, I am finding myself very behind at work. Just when I feel like I am getting ahead, I get buried again. I have worked from home every night this week and again in the mornings before leaving the house to put in another 8 hours actually in the office. I am very fortunate for having a very good boss that allows me a little flexibility with my work (because he knows that I work on average 50 hours a week). He has given me a laptop and Blackberry, both for work use that I find myself using ALL OF THE TIME....I admit, I have become a member of the crackberry club. I am addicted and I love it. While I feel like I have too much to do, James has been feeling like he doesn't have enough to do. He worked (more to come) for a company called Ferguson Ent. They sell the in-ground plumbing and irrigation supplies to contractors for commercial and residential building. Well, obviously things have changed in that industry and his company has not been billing any jobs. About 3 months ago they laid off 3 people. We were worried, but they reassured us that they cut deep so that they wouldn't have to lay more off again later. We decided to go ahead and get the remaining credits that James needed to renew his teaching certificate for another 5 years just in case. While has not taught since receiving it (due to the significant difference in salaries between the job he had and the teachers salary) we have made sure that he would always have that option to fall back on if needed. Two weeks ago, James was called into his boss's office and was given a raise. This brought with it, more than the money a sense of calmness that things must be picking up in the industry for them to hand out raises. And not only that, it reaffirmed that they wanted to keep James on the team and valued his hard work. Wednesday brought with it a call that I was not expecting. James called and told me that he had bad, bad news. I'm thinking that he's gotten another speeding ticket, lost the keys to the car (again), or lost his wallet. I was not prepared for him to tell me that he had been laid off. We knew it was possible with the economy the way it was, but after receiving the raise were feeling better about our chances of avoiding it. That is when I was hit with so many different emotions. Frustration, anxiety, stress, regret, thankfulness, anger, angst, remorse, and more. Frustration and anger that his company would give us the false sense of security in his job by giving him a raise. Anger that I fractured my ankle this year, the year that I changed my health plan to a low premium, high deductible plan because I never got sick and never went to the doctor. Anxiety of what was to come. Regret that we had purchased new vehicles (new to us) and a motorcycle in the last year and a half. Regret that we had just used money from savings to go to Australia this year. Thankfulness that we were able to go on the trip this year, because now next year's not looking so good. Thankfulness that I still have a job and that we kept James's teaching credentials up to date. Thankfulness that he was laid off on Wed. and not Thurs. because that is when the workers were coming in to pull up our carpet in a few rooms and lay more hardwood. Remorse for the man who was also laid off that is 55 years old and has worked for the company for 22 years. Stress and pressure of not letting my husband see my upset or worried so that it didn't add more pressure and stress on him. The sad thing is that with all of the emotions that I was feeling, I know that my husbands were twice as intense as mine.